Opening the dossiers...
A weekend where the trains are on time, the bikes will run you over, and the museums are five stars each.
Three days in Amsterdam. A weekend where the trains are on time, the bikes will run you over (step back if you hear a bell), and every museum is five stars. Gabled houses lean into canals that were engineered in 1613 and still work. Everything runs at a walking or biking pace; nothing runs at a sprint.
Day 1 is the Old Centre — Dam Square, the Royal Palace, and Anne Frank House (book six weeks ahead, non-negotiable), ending in the Jordaan's brown bars and narrow lanes.
Day 2 is Museumplein: Rijksmuseum for Rembrandt and Vermeer in the morning, Van Gogh next door with his sunflowers chronologically, and Vondelpark to recover with a beer.
Day 3 is the canals from the water — a 75-minute boat tour that makes the city's logic click — then the Bloemenmarkt, Rembrandt's actual house, and Rembrandtplein for a loud dinner and the obligatory photo of the bronze Night Watch.
Amsterdam is a small city that feels bigger because you walk it slow. Bring layers (it rains 200 days a year, accept this), real shoes (cobbles + canals = slippery), and accept that the Dutch call you out when you do something wrong — it's culture, not rudeness. Don't rent a bike your first day; watch the traffic rhythm before you join it.
Dam Square first, the hardest ticket in the city at 9am, Jordaan by lunch.
Town square in Amsterdam.
Town square in Amsterdam.
Palace on Dam Square in the centre of Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Palace on Dam Square in the centre of Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Church in Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Church in Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Writer's house and museum in Amsterdam.
Writer's house and museum in Amsterdam.
Church in Amsterdam.
Church in Amsterdam.
Neighbourhood in Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Neighbourhood in Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Dutch food is honest but plain. Cheese, bread, herring, fries with mayonnaise. The restaurant scene has been globalised for decades (best Surinamese, Indonesian, and Moroccan food in Europe — a colonial hangover you benefit from). Eat Dutch for the novelty, Indonesian for the meal.
Deep-fried balls of crispy breadcrumb around a soft beef ragout centre. Served with mustard, eaten at 5pm with a beer. The national bar snack; also the national alibi for a second beer.
Two thin waffle discs pressed around a syrup filling. The real version — not the plastic-wrapped kind — is made fresh at market stands, warmed on top of your coffee so the caramel softens.
Raw herring, cured in brine, served whole with chopped onions and gherkins. Dutch tradition: lift it by the tail, tilt your head back, lower it in. Do it once at a proper herring cart; you'll either love it or never again.
'Rice table' — a colonial-era invitation to order 15–25 small Indonesian dishes at once, each a different island's specialty. Rendang, satay, gado-gado, sambal, peanut sauces. A 2-hour feast; one table-worth feeds 2 to 4.
Hand-cut fries served in a paper cone, with 'patat met' defaulting to mayonnaise. Toppings scale from peanut sauce (satésaus) to a classic 'oorlog' (war — mayo + peanut sauce + onions). Belgian-style, thicker than French.
Not the rubbery yellow block at your supermarket. Proper aged Gouda (belegen = 6mo, oude = 12mo+) is crystalline, caramel-y, stands on its own with bread and mustard. Cheese shops let you taste before you buy.
Thin-and-wide like French crêpes but heavier, served with stroop (syrup) or powdered sugar, savoury toppings like bacon + cheese also fair. Lunch dish, not breakfast.
The compromise for people who can't do raw herring straight from the tail. Same cured herring, in a soft bread roll, with onions and pickles. Still strong-flavoured; much easier first time.
Yes, it's the beer your college roommate drank. Yes, the brewery tour (Heineken Experience, €25) is kind of a theme park. The 'pour your own' section at the end is 8 minutes of Dutch pride, and the Heineken here is brewed fresher than what you get abroad.
The Dutch ancestor of gin — juniper spirit, maltier, either 'jong' (clean, like gin) or 'oud' (aged in casks, whisky-adjacent). Drink it at room temperature in a tulip glass, first sip without lifting the glass off the bar (the 'kopstoot' tradition — shot of jenever, beer chaser).
1670. Sawdust on the floor (still, genuinely), candles in brandy bottles, bitterballen landing on wooden plates. Opens noon, peaks at 5pm. The template for what a brown bar means.
1679. No seats — you stand at the bar, bend at the waist, first sip without touching the glass. Comic and serious at once. 80+ jenevers and liqueurs; ask the bartender to guide.
The upscale rijsttafel. 25 dishes across the small-large tasting, Indonesian + colonial grand, white-tablecloth service. Book weeks ahead, dress the part (no shorts).
Standing room only, queue out the door, the best hand-cut fries in the centre. 28 sauces. The war (oorlog) is the initiation.
Two kilometres of Amsterdam's busiest outdoor market. Fresh stroopwafels warm from the iron, cheese, tulip bulbs, Surinamese roti at lunch stalls. Closed Sundays.
Converted tram depot; 20 food stalls ring the centre bar. Ramen, bao, Vietnamese, Dutch pancakes, good cocktails. Where young Amsterdam eats on Friday nights.
Wall-to-wall wheels of Gouda, Leyden, Edam, Beemster — sliced to order. Sample before you buy. They vacuum-seal for flight; ~€20 gets you three wheels' worth of edibles home.
The haring kar locals trust. Since 1913. You get a whole herring on a paper plate with onions + gherkins, or diced into a roll. 8am–6pm, closed Sundays.
Take the free ferry from Centraal to NDSM (20 min). Pllek is a shipping-container restaurant on a sand-covered former shipyard. Brunch, beach chairs, sunset over the IJ river. Destination-tier casual.
1650. A single room with a long bar, wooden barrels, dozens of jenevers and liqueurs, and a roster of regulars who have been coming for decades. Quiet in the afternoons.
Mismatched crockery, walls covered in guests' photos of their mothers (the gimmick; also charming). The stamppot with sausage and smoked sausage is the best in the city.
Not a chain in the bad way — three owned locations, proper Dutch pancakes with honest toppings. The Negen Straatjes branch is on a canal; go for lunch, you can skip dinner.
The bike lanes are not for walking. I got nearly run over four times my first hour and it turns out Amsterdam's bikers do not slow down, do not yield, and barely ring the bell. Stay on the footpath. Stop, look BOTH ways, then cross.
Anne Frank House tickets sold out in 80 minutes on the Tuesday morning release. I'd set an alarm for 10am CET which is 4am my time; bleary, clicked through, got them. If you think 'I'll wait till the week before' — you will not see the house.
Skipped Van Gogh because 'it's just paintings you've seen.' Mistake. Going chronologically through his whole output in two hours hits like a novel. The Arles room made me emotional. Go.
Stayed in De Pijp my last trip — tram to the centre in 8 minutes, half the hotel price, Albert Cuyp market downstairs, locals actually on the streets. Will never stay in the Old Town area again.
Ordered a rijsttafel for two thinking 'how big can it be.' Fifteen plates. We took leftovers home. Do it with two people, order the small rijsttafel, prepare for 2 hours. The peanut sauce is worth the trip.
Tickets release six weeks ahead, 10am CET Tuesdays, online only (annefrank.org). They sell out in 90 minutes. Set a cross-timezone alarm. There is no walk-up line anymore — not during COVID, not after. Planning any Amsterdam trip starts here.
The red asphalt strips are cycle lanes — stepping onto one without looking is the #1 tourist mistake. Dutch bikers will ring a bell exactly once, then swerve and glare. Stop, look both ways, then cross. Don't walk IN the lanes to take photos. Just don't.
Coffee shops (two words) serve coffee. Coffeeshops (one word) sell cannabis. The spelling is the signal, plus green-and-white signage. Café ='bar that also has coffee.' Know what you're walking into.
Schiphol → Centraal Station runs every 7 minutes, 17 minutes, €5.50. NS.nl has an app; contactless card taps work on the turnstile. Don't take an Uber from the airport unless it's 2am — you'll pay €60 for what the train does for €5.
Amsterdam is the most cashless city in Europe. Many bars and supermarkets refuse physical money entirely. Bring a contactless card (US Amex not always accepted; MasterCard/Visa fine). A €50 note might get you a confused stare at a coffee bar.
200+ rain-days a year. Even July has afternoon showers. A packable rain jacket in your daybag solves it; umbrellas die in canal-level wind. The rain is the low-steady kind, not storms. Don't cancel plans for it.
Tell me your pace, dietary, days, budget — and I'll rebuild Amsterdam to match.